Tuesday, November 6, 2007

To The One that Got Away



In your life, you'll make note of a lot of people. Ones with whom you shared something special, ones who will always mean something. There's the one you first kissed, the one you first loved, the one you lost your virginity to, the one you put on a pedestal, the one you're with...and the one that got away

Who is the one that got away? I guess it's that person with who everything was great, everything was perfect, but the timing was just wrong. There was no fault in the person, there was no flaw in the chemistry, but the cards just didn't fall the right way, I suppose.

I believe in the fact that ending up with someone, finding a longtime partner that is, does not lie merely in the other person. I can actually argue that an equal part, or maybe even the greater part, has to do with the matter of timing. It has to do with you being ready to settle down and commit to someone in a way that goes beyond the little nice ties of giddy romance.

How often have you gone through it without even realizing it? When you're not ready to commit in that mature manner, it doesn't matter who you're with, it just doesn't work. Small problems become big; inconsequential become deal breakers simply because you're not ready and it shows. It's not that you and the person you're with are no good ; it's just that it's not yet right, and little things become the flashpoint of that fact.

Then one day you're ready. You really are. And when this happens you'll be ready to settle down with someone.He or she may not be the most perfect, they might not be the brightest star of romance to ever have burned in your life , but it'll work because you're ready. It'll work because it's the right time and you'll make it work. And it'll make sense, it really will.

So that day comes when you're finally making sense of things, and you find yourself to be a different person.Things are different, your approach is different, you finally understand who you are and what you want, and
you've become ready because the time has truly arrived. And mind you, there's no telling when this day will come. Hopefully you're single but you could be in a long-term relationship, you could be married with three kids, it doesn't matter. All you know is that you've changed, and for some reason, the one that got away, is the first person you think about.

You'll think about them because you'll wonder, "What if they were here today?" You'll wonder, "What if we were together now, with me as I am and not as I was?" That's what the one that got away is.The biggest "What if?" you'll have in your life.

If you're married, you'll just have to accept the fact that the one that got away, got away. Believe me, no matter how fairy tale you think your marriage is, this can happen to the best of us. But hopefully you're mature enough realize that you're already with the one you're with and this is just another test of your commitment, one which will just strengthen your marriage when you get past it. Sure, you'll think about him/her every so often, but it's alright. It's never nice to live with a "might have been," but it happens.

Maybe the one that got away is the one who's already married. In which case it's the same thing.You just have to accept and know that your memories of that person will probably bring a nice little smile to your lips in the future when you're old and gray and reminiscing. But if neither of that is the case, then it's different. What do you do if it's not yet too late? Simple...find him, find her. Because the very existence of a "one that got away"means that you'll always wonder, what if you got that one?

8 comments:

Diablo said...

if you're married, and you've found the one that got away, and you know if you pursue him/her, it will be forever this time,

DOES NOT LOVE GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BE FREE?

naisip ko lang po... dapat ba what might have been nalang siya, ateng?

Diablo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mel Avila Alarilla said...

HI Kurdapya,
You sure are improving by leaps and bounds with each article that you write. See what a broken heart does to a woman? It squeezes out the very best from you. Many great and erudite writers found their inspirations from the pain and frustrations they encountered early on in their lives, and these made them into a more sensitive and caring person, able to relate to people with all kinds of problems.
Who knows the Lord intended these things to happen to you because He has a special purpose for your life? The people who have survive the worst traumas, pains and difficulties in life are the very people who can commiserate, give comfort and joy to those who are suffering. I love your post, even your candor in admitting your mistakes in life. Carry on sister. You are on the right path. Smile always. God bless and have a wonderful and inspirational day.

KRIS JASPER said...

tagal ko ng di naka visit ah..
regarding your post, i dont believe in love that slipped away.. everything has reasons. I have a gf b4, we broke up when we were 13 but got bak 2geder when we were 22 (and we broke up again.. hehe..).. oh well, that only shows na we dont know our destiny, who knows what myt happen 2mrw?

Anonymous said...

...well everything just happen for a reason?! Aside from that, we can do nothing if it is not meant to be?! Hmmm, i like ur blogs?! Keep up the good work?!

Mel Avila Alarilla said...

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year my dearest friend. Whatever you are doing, just remember that we are missing you so much. Kulang ang blog world pag wala ka. May you enjoy the very best of the holiday season. God bless you with all the happiness and joy this holiday season and may He fill your heart with overflowing love and joy. Have a wonderful and peaceful celebration of the holiday season.

Anonymous said...

Relationships are quite complicated one has to face when in trouble, but it's also not as bad as one would be led to believe in it.Just try to brush away all those misunderstandings and believe in the fact of making-up that relationship all you have to do is to start knowing what really went wrong and what made two humans who loved each other in depth to part their ways, is it because of money
mis-management or something else . You can always find the answer here.

Love and Relationships

Anonymous said...

may naalala nman ako sa article na to. galing ha. :)